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breathlessmd

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12:36 pm: I had another uncontrollable urge...
Sometimes, especially if I drink too much whiskey, I get this uncontrollable urge to die, and especially die by strangulation. Last night was an example - drunk and 5 o'clock in the AM. I just wanted to be strangled, and killed, so much that I actually stumbled out into the woods (so I wouldn't be found) with a loop of tights and wearing a favorite pair of tights under my clothing, and proceeded to strangle myself HARD with this loop of tights. (All I had to do was loop this loop of tights around a low lying bush's limb.) I think I came pretty close to passing out, and maybe dying, but it didn't happen...

Though it would have been kinda cool for my dead body to have been found the next day, strangled and only wearing a pair of tights. Too bad someone couldn't have been there last night to ensure this would happen.

Comments

From:raziel23
Date:August 9th, 2004 03:02 pm (UTC)
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I know what you're talking about. My only problem is that every time I come close there's something that stops me... It would be a waste to go out alone. I'm sure I'll go through with it one day but it's gotta count.
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From:breathlessmd
Date:August 10th, 2004 03:16 pm (UTC)

Yep...

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I know exactly what you mean - I also desire to die with someone else and not merely by myself. So, yes, it would be a shame to go out alone. And that is probably why I haven't died yet. If I am going to die, I want it to be under the conditions, or the situation, that I desire....
From:raziel23
Date:August 10th, 2004 06:58 pm (UTC)

Re: Yep...

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Hmm... I figure that I'll probably die alone, but I'm sure as hell taking a few down with me.
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From:breathlessmd
Date:August 12th, 2004 11:06 am (UTC)

Re: Yep...

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If you ever need a partner, you are welcome to talk to me...I am always willing and ready.
From:raziel23
Date:August 18th, 2004 10:26 am (UTC)
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Something tells me talking about this in public is a BAD idea. Email me.
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From:breathlessmd
Date:August 18th, 2004 12:06 pm (UTC)
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Yes, indeed. Incidentally, I didn't see an email address on your journal profile, but you can email me at crypticalstone@yahoo.com, if you so desire.
From:jewmaster3000
Date:October 26th, 2004 09:38 pm (UTC)
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The primary problem with suicide is that you're not around to appreciate it afterward.

Sincerely,
Joshua Blanchard
From:xmonstrousx
Date:November 30th, 2004 06:06 pm (UTC)
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Sounds lovely. I'm sure there are quite a few people out there that would love to help you along, but it's difficult these days to get away with it.
From:ravenoustedium
Date:April 11th, 2005 08:00 am (UTC)
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geez, if you had only called me I would have helped you out.. hehe..
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From:breathlessmd
Date:April 11th, 2005 03:32 pm (UTC)

Yes...

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It's not too late for you to help me out, you know...I am still here, and searching and waiting...Hmmmm, I need to take another trip to the woods.
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